
Last Podcast On The Left
"The murder is what fucked it all up." — Marcus Parks
"He has a terrible plan. They did need murder. As a matter of fact, murder hurt the plan. They could have done a lot of extortion without the murder." — Marcus Parks
"The irony I see is that if you've got a 10,000 spoons, you put all you need is a knife. That's from a land of spores, that's bad luck. That's not irony." — Ben Kisel
The episode chronicles the disturbing activities of Taylor Helzer and his followers, who formed the cult known as "Children of Thunder." Driven by what he perceived as divine inspiration, Helzer developed elaborate, albeit completely impractical, plans to "transform America." These plans often involved criminal activities, including extortion and murder, which were rationalized through a warped interpretation of religious texts. The narrative highlights the extreme lack of logistical foresight within the group, particularly Taylor's tendency to focus on grand visions without considering the execution details. This deficiency, coupled with significant substance abuse among the members, led to a series of escalating and ultimately fatal criminal endeavors.
The podcast details several of their poorly conceived schemes, including a plan to infiltrate and take over the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by using kidnapped orphans as child assassins, and a convoluted financial fraud involving manipulating stock portfolios. The execution of these plans was marked by a staggering level of incompetence, from their initial attempt at extortion and murder targeting elderly individuals, the Steinmans, which resulted in their brutal deaths, to the subsequent murder of Selena Bishop, an associate of Helzer's. The narrative emphasizes the amateurish and often contradictory nature of their actions, revealing a deep disconnect from reality.
Ultimately, the "Children of Thunder's" reign of terror unraveled due to their own ineptitude and the relentless investigative work of law enforcement. The discovery of dismembered bodies, coupled with overwhelming circumstantial evidence and a key confession from one of the members, led to their arrests. The episode concludes with the legal fates of Taylor Helzer and his associates, underscoring the tragic consequences of their misguided ambition and the destructive power of their flawed ideology.