Call Her Daddy
Call Her Daddy
"What we are looking for when it comes to healing is that those events don't have as much power over us and our lives. And we feel more able to kind of take back a sense of our own power and meaning and take ourselves back from the events." — Dr. Ariel Schwartz
"The truth is that doesn't happen either. Right. We do get more distance from the event, but some things will always just be objectively disturbing because they are." — Dr. Ariel Schwartz
"It starts with having the right relationship. When you find that right person, they actually will walk you through the stages and the steps to processing this so that it doesn't feel so overwhelming and so scary." — Dr. Ariel Schwartz
The episode begins with host Alex Cooper introducing clinical psychologist Dr. Ariel Schwartz, specializing in trauma and recovery, to address listener inquiries about healing from trauma. Dr. Schwartz clarifies that trauma is not solely defined by the event itself, but by the individual's internal experience, and that time alone is insufficient for healing, as the body holds onto trauma's impact. Healing involves actively turning towards and processing these impacts, aiming to reduce the event's power over one's life.
Dr. Schwartz further explains that the body's protective defenses, initially crucial for survival, can become detrimental if unresolved, leading to ongoing hypervigilance or dissociation that affects both mental and physical well-being. She stresses that professional therapists are trained to guide individuals through processing trauma safely by breaking it down into manageable parts and building a sense of safety. The conversation also touches on the difference between making meaning of trauma and finding a "reason" for it, emphasizing that meaning-making is about creating a purposeful present and future, not necessarily excusing the event.
The discussion extends to interpersonal relationships, advising listeners to prioritize emotional intimacy alongside physical intimacy and to communicate their needs clearly when sharing personal trauma. Dr. Schwartz highlights that forgiveness is a personal choice, not a mandatory part of healing, and that anger can serve as a protective emotion. She concludes by reinforcing that healing is a non-linear, often spiral-like journey, and that seeking professional help is a courageous act of self-investment, with vulnerability and commitment leading to post-traumatic growth.