Call Her Daddy
Call Her Daddy
"A relationship with someone else won't cure your relationship with yourself." — Jay Shetty
"We have to respect unless it's abusive, manipulative, physically, verbally. There's no part of me that says you have to be patient with anything of that sort. But beneath that, if anything in your life, if you don't understand and accept the way your partner deals with stress is different to yours, that creates issues." — Jay Shetty
"Studies show that 70% of people believe in soulmates, which is the definition that there is one person out there for me, that is perfect for me. And until I find them, everyone else is not that person." — Jay Shetty
Jay Shetty, author of "8 Rules of Love," joins Alex Cooper on "Call Her Daddy" to discuss his new book, offering a comprehensive guide to understanding and cultivating healthier romantic relationships. Shetty emphasizes that societal norms and a lack of education have left many ill-equipped to navigate love, leading to unfulfillment and issues with self-worth. He asserts that a strong relationship with oneself is paramount, suggesting that the fear of being alone often drives people into less-than-ideal partnerships, leading to settling and increased dependency. The conversation delves into the importance of self-reliance, highlighting that how we treat ourselves significantly influences how others treat us.
Shetty further elaborates on the "rules of love" by discussing the influence of parental upbringing on relationship dynamics, advocating for individuals to identify and fill their own emotional gaps rather than seeking partners to do so. He challenges traditional notions of romantic love, particularly the societal pressure surrounding material displays like diamond rings, and encourages a shift from passive expectations to active intentions and attention within relationships. The discussion touches upon common pitfalls in dating, such as falling for "opulent ones" based on superficial qualities and mistaking initial chemistry for lasting compatibility, advocating for a more deliberate pace and genuine connection.
The episode explores practical advice for listeners navigating the dating world, including the concept of a "three-date rule" designed to assess personality, preferences, and deeper compatibility. Shetty stresses the importance of defining love, proposing a definition centered on liking personality, respecting values, and commitment to mutual growth. He also addresses the complexities of stress management in relationships, introducing three distinct "fight styles" (venting, hiding, exploding) and advocating for mutual understanding and compromise. Finally, Shetty challenges the singular focus on romantic love, encouraging listeners to value and nurture all forms of love in their lives and to actively choose and work on relationships rather than searching for a pre-destined "soulmate."