
Call Her Daddy
"Setting boundaries are key and it's how you do it so you have to always remember first of all I think BPD is really over pathologized even though sometimes people with borderline personality disorder can get really dysregulated usually with their craving is validation and I think what happens is because their behavior can be so inappropriate they often get pushed back and they often get like this is not okay what you're doing and it escalates them more so even though it feels really contrary to everything you want to do setting a really hard boundary it can feel really invalidating to them so you want to validate the feeling don't validate the behavior" — Dr. Suzanne Wallick
"We call it a cope bad plan like you're just coping ahead of time and so if you cope for the worst possible situation you're going to be prepared for anything that can happen right" — Dr. Suzanne Wallick
"And then I'm going to be like why didn't I go and stay in California Thanksgiving Yeehaw get ready gobble gobble sorry not yeehaw is so for different gobble gobble now" — Alex Cooper
The episode features a discussion between Alex Cooper and Dr. Suzanne Wallick, a licensed marriage and family therapist, focusing on navigating the emotional complexities of the holiday season, particularly Thanksgiving. The conversation begins with Alex sharing a personal anecdote about her college Thanksgiving experiences, highlighting the anxieties and preparations associated with returning home, seeing old acquaintances, and the pressure to present a certain image. Dr. Wallick then addresses listener submissions detailing various holiday-related stressors, including difficult family dynamics, dealing with addiction, grief, body image concerns, and setting boundaries with parents, especially those with conditions like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
Dr. Wallick offers practical advice on managing these challenges, emphasizing the importance of proactive boundary setting, clear communication, and self-care strategies. She explains concepts like "urge surfing" for eating disorders, the significance of validating feelings without validating behaviors when dealing with BPD, and the utility of a "cope ahead plan" to prepare for potential difficulties. The conversation underscores that familial relationships can be challenging and that prioritizing one's own well-being is not selfish.
Throughout the episode, the host and guest normalize the struggles many face during the holidays, contrasting the often idealized portrayals on social media with the reality of complex family situations. The core message revolves around empowering listeners to take control of their holiday experiences by acknowledging their triggers, communicating their needs, and employing various coping mechanisms to ensure a more positive and manageable experience, even when faced with difficult circumstances.