"Self objectification is the internalization of that objectifying culture where we start to split our identities into you're the one living your best life. And the other part of your identity is watching you and judging you and evaluating you it says if you are an outsider looking in at yourself judging all of your worst flaws." — Dr. Lindsey Kite
"The patriarchal side of it is that's where the power comes in that's who's making the decisions for you know 90% of casting decisions and who is allocating the money to certain films who is behind all of the advertising messages that was men especially for us like millennials growing up. These these were shaped by people's sexualized perspectives on women's bodies and so then we turn that gaze the male gaze upon ourselves and we judge ourselves for the rest of our lives according to what we think other people might be thinking when they look at us especially in terms of sexual desirability" — Dr. Lexi Kite
"Body image resilience is that when that uncomfortable feeling comes up that you used to not even be able to recognize or call you just immediately try to fix yourself instead that is a spark that gives you pause and for a second you realize you can't blame yourself you blame the message that you're hearing or whatever and you make a new choice a choice that doesn't keep you in this cycle of objectification and self objectification fixing your body that doesn't ever fix the inside body image resilience is this lifelong process that will change you in over time those disruptions to your body image those triggers they don't hurt so bad they don't immediately cause you to have to fix yourself in the ways you used to instead you feel it you feel the pain of it that you do not deserve to feel and you make a better choice for yourself." — Dr. Lexi Kite
The episode features an in-depth discussion with Drs. Lindsey and Lexi Kite, identical twins and experts on female body image, on their book "More Than a Body." They explain the concept of self-objectification, which arises from living in a world that objectifies women, leading individuals to internalize this external gaze and constantly monitor and judge themselves. This process, deeply rooted in patriarchal structures, diverts mental energy from living life to obsessing over appearance, impacting happiness, health, and potential.
The Kites elaborate on how the male gaze permeates media, advertising, and even institutions like schools and families, reinforcing the idea that women's primary value lies in their appearance. They challenge the notion that body positivity, by focusing on acceptance of all bodies, has solved the issue, arguing that it can inadvertently keep the emphasis on being looked at. Instead, they advocate for body image resilience, a proactive approach that involves recognizing self-objectification triggers, blaming the societal message rather than oneself, and making conscious choices to disengage from the cycle of external validation.
The conversation delves into practical implications, including the impact of social media, the problematic nature of "get your body back" post-pregnancy messaging, and the harmful effects of self-comparison. They emphasize that true empowerment comes from within, by prioritizing one's own experience and internal value over external judgment, and by fostering compassion for oneself and other women, recognizing that beauty is not the sole determinant of a fulfilling life.