"The first thing is that most of the fucking time we're not having an orgasm. I bet so many people are listening to this like if you have a partner or yourself like when is a last time you had a mind blowing orgasm." — Alex Cooper
"You have to make time for your fucking self because then it also makes you crave your partner more like then I start to be like oh my god I just did this thing like I want to try it with my partner tonight like I want to now use that vibrator and do the same thing while he's fucking with me like there is just a different level of heightened sensation that you have to first achieve with yourself if you're even gonna achieve that with your partner." — Alex Cooper
"Be selfish in bed because truly I mean men if you're listening to this don't be fucking selfish in bed because half of you don't even know how to eat out a pussy and that's where it all stems from it's like give a little fucking credit to us like we're always putting in work for you go down there figure it the fuck out and don't take any criticism if someone is telling you something they like listen to that." — Alex Cooper
The host, Alex Cooper, addresses listener questions regarding inconsistent sex drive and challenges in resetting one's sex life. She openly shares her own experiences with fluctuating libido, noting that it's a common struggle for women and not always realistic to be constantly "horny." Cooper introduces self-pleasure through masturbation as a primary strategy to regain control and enhance sexual desire. She argues that understanding one's own body and achieving orgasms independently is fundamental before expecting it in partnered sex.
Cooper emphasizes the importance of intentionality and making time for self-pleasure, suggesting that consistent masturbation helps individuals become more attuned to their bodies and needs. She advocates for a "selfish" approach to sex, where prioritizing one's own orgasm leads to better overall sexual experiences and can even improve partnered intimacy. The host stresses that open communication with partners about sexual preferences, including the use of sex toys, is key and that a partner's insecurity or refusal to incorporate such elements may indicate immaturity or control issues.
Ultimately, the episode encourages listeners to take accountability for their sexual well-being by regularly engaging in masturbation, exploring what brings them pleasure, and communicating their needs effectively. This self-focused approach, Cooper suggests, not only enhances personal satisfaction but also positively impacts overall quality of life and relationships.