"The toxic when you're young it's fun but don't let it go so far to the point that like that shit is just who you are and that's just what you become and that's just what you settle for." — Alex Cooper
"You know you're ready to graduate and it's not about college, it's about when shit starts to just get a little bit real or you get your first real job." — Alex Cooper
"When you feel loved, you feel safe. You feel secure in your relationship. And I'm not saying you feel bored. Boring and safe are not the same thing." — Alex Cooper
Alex Cooper hosts a solo episode of "Call Her Daddy" delving into the complex topic of toxic relationships, sharing personal reflections and insights. She frames the discussion by contrasting the "fun games" of toxic behavior often experienced in college with the more detrimental consequences in adulthood. Cooper explains that in college, these behaviors, such as playing hard to get or engaging in mind games, were perceived as exciting and low-stakes, often driven by a desire for social equity and the thrill of the chase rather than deep emotional connection. She emphasizes that at this age, individuals are often not fully formed and may not be ready for the commitment of a healthy relationship, making these "toxic" phases a period of exploration and potential missteps.
As listeners transition into their early twenties and beyond, the podcast highlights how these toxic patterns can become normalized and even comforting due to familiarity, especially during periods of significant life changes like starting a career or moving to a new city. Cooper illustrates how the convenience of staying in a familiar, albeit toxic, relationship can outweigh the perceived difficulty of leaving. This often leads to "situation-ships," cohabitation, and even marriage, where the initial rationale of "it's just a phase" or logistical convenience masks a deeper issue of avoiding emotional vulnerability or personal growth. The episode stresses that as stakes increase, the "games" become less cute and more draining, leading to emotional exhaustion and a sense of being stuck.
The core message revolves around the importance of self-worth and recognizing that true love is characterized by safety, security, and mutual respect, not constant anxiety or emotional turmoil. Cooper shares anecdotes about individuals caught in controlling dynamics, emphasizing that the investment of time and emotion does not justify remaining in an unhealthy situation. She encourages listeners to actively choose better for themselves, to break patterns, and to embrace the journey of self-discovery outside of toxic relationships, ultimately asserting that a fulfilling life is achievable when one prioritizes their emotional well-being and desires.