"I am comfortable today calling myself a queer, non-binary, bisexual, happily married, polyamorous, non-monogamous human being." — Nico Tortorella
"The future man is kind. The future man loves you as much as he loves himself." — Nico Tortorella
"We are all walking fucking contradictions none of us are perfect none of us abide by the rules that we fucking set like we're all a mess all of us." — Nico Tortorella
The episode features a candid conversation between host Alex Cooper and guest Nico Tortorella, an actor known for their role in "Younger." Nico shares their extensive journey of self-discovery, discussing how their upbringing in an Italian household shaped their initial understanding of family and relationships. They detail experiences with male figures leaving their lives and the impact of growing up in a bar environment. The conversation delves into Nico's evolving understanding of sexuality and gender, with Nico identifying as queer, non-binary, and bisexual, emphasizing the fluidity of their identity.
A significant portion of the discussion revolves around Nico's relationship with their spouse, Bethany. They recount their 15-year journey, which began with mutual attraction and evolved through various stages, including periods of cheating before they consciously adopted polyamorous practices. Nico highlights the importance of friendship as the foundation of their relationship and the ongoing effort required to maintain open communication and honesty. The conversation also touches upon Nico's past struggles with alcoholism and how sobriety has influenced their perspective on relationships and self-worth.
The dialogue further explores societal norms and personal experiences related to sex, sexuality, and gender. Nico and Alex discuss the limitations of traditional binary perspectives, the complexities of sexual expression, and the importance of understanding one's own body and desires. Nico articulates their current approach to polyamory, emphasizing emotional and spiritual connections over purely sexual ones, and the internal evolution that has led to their current understanding of relationships. The episode concludes with reflections on the future of identity, the impact of the pandemic, and the ongoing pursuit of authentic self-expression.