Call Her Daddy
Call Her Daddy
"The self that many of us are enacting in the world, reacting to in the world from, again, is what I call in the book at least our habit self. It is all of our conditioned experiences wired literally into our brain and our nervous system, and it becomes our way of being so much so that many of us well into later in life don't really know who we are." — Dr. Nicole Appean
"We will assume that it's something about us, that we are unworthy of having our needs met, so what that then can translate to over time is we continue to feel that deep rooted unworthiness." — Dr. Nicole Appean
"The best place to start is to just become present to themselves as a relational being... how do you consistently feel about or experience your relationships..." — Dr. Nicole Appean
Dr. Nicole Appean, a clinical psychologist, discusses her book "How to Meet Yourself," focusing on the concept of the "habit self"—our conditioned responses and patterns shaped by early life experiences and parental interactions. She emphasizes that self-awareness isn't just knowing these patterns but understanding their roots in childhood to create space for a more authentic self. The conversation highlights how emotional immaturity in parents can lead to children suppressing parts of themselves, adapting to maintain connection, and carrying this unworthiness into adulthood.
The episode delves into specific parental dynamics, such as emotional unavailability, transactional love through gifts, and addiction, explaining their long-term impact on a child's self-esteem, emotional regulation, and relationship patterns. Dr. Appean and host Alex Cooper stress the importance of self-compassion throughout the healing process, acknowledging that these behaviors were often survival tactics. They explore how labels given in childhood can become limiting identities and discuss the necessity of creating distance from formative family environments to foster individual growth and self-discovery.
Strategies for healing the "inner child" are presented, beginning with gaining awareness of current habitual behaviors and their origins, without necessarily needing to recall specific childhood events. The discussion concludes with advice on becoming present in relationships, understanding one's emotional landscape, and making conscious choices to foster personal growth, emphasizing that this journey, while challenging, is an empowering path to conscious creation and inner peace.