Call Her Daddy
Call Her Daddy
"To me, that's the way that patriarchy is so alive for so many of us. We don't even see it out in the world. It sort of exists in our head in that way." — Naomi Snyder
"In a culture where the conditions for healthy relationship are so impossible because there are rules of the game patriarchal norms that kind of shame those relational capacities then becoming the patriarchal man and disavowing your relationality becoming the patriarchal woman who's all about the needs of others there's in addition to all the kind of social capital you gain there's also this sort of like psychological armor that you're now wearing." — Naomi Snyder
"The point is reality still exists you're still getting burned and that's the problem with these defense mechanisms you're still getting burned you just don't even know about it it's like yes there's something protective about not being in touch with your vulnerability there's something protective about not being in touch with all the the pain and the frustration that comes with unfair treatment but at the same time if you're not in touch with any of those things then you lose all ability to do anything about them to change them." — Naomi Snyder
The episode features an in-depth discussion with psychoanalyst Naomi Snyder on the enduring nature of patriarchy. Snyder defines patriarchy not merely as male versus female dominance, but as a societal order that establishes gender hierarchies, dictating rules for success and shaming aspects deemed "feminine," such as emotionality and relationality. This framework creates a double bind for women, where being perceived as a good woman (selfless, relational) can hinder leadership potential, while aspiring to leadership traits can lead to negative labeling.
Snyder emphasizes that patriarchy often operates subtly, internalized within individuals as self-doubt and a reluctance to assert personal needs. This internalized system serves as psychological armor, protecting individuals from vulnerability but also detaching them from their true desires and needs, ultimately leading to ongoing suffering even if the external manifestations are not immediately apparent. The conversation highlights how societal beauty standards, body image pressures, and even the commodification of women's appearances are manifestations of these patriarchal norms, contributing to a culture where women's worth is often tied to their physical presentation.
The discussion concludes with strategies for collective resistance, urging listeners to challenge patriarchal gender roles and standards, amplify voices of dissent, and recognize the systemic nature of these issues rather than blaming individual women. The podcast emphasizes the importance of fostering a societal environment where women, and indeed all individuals, are valued for more than their appearance or their adherence to traditional gender expectations, ultimately striving for a more equitable future.